Anhedonia

On recovering fully from the pandemic craziness

Today I am reminded of something I read more than 40 years ago. Bioenergetics therapist Alexander Lowen reported that, though his clients typically came to him with one or other identified 'problem', the underlying issue many of his clients faced was simply a lack of pleasure in their lives.

If the dearth of pleasurable experiences had persisted long enough, Dr. Lowen found that people were not just damaged in their willingness to seek out and value pleasure, but even in their ability to feel pleasure. Lowen called this state anhedonia.

Lowen used the term pleasure in its most general sense for pretty much anything that makes us feel good including social contact, play, games, hobbies, the enjoyment of creativity, and, of course, the sensual pleasures of food, music, dancing and sex.

Lowen maintained that pleasure does for the spirit what food does for the body; it is an essential source of energy. He believed that oftentimes the immobility and inaction associated with depression or anxiety was actually a result of a person's life lacking in the psychic fuel source of pleasure.

To be clear: Lowen was not a hedonist in the traditional sense. He was in no way saying that pleasure is the highest goal of life - family, service to the community, or some work contribution all offer better 'whys' to continue living. Rather, his experience told him that pleasure is a fundamental human need, and that if we fail to meet that need, it damages not just our happiness but also our ability to move forward with our life goals.

Though Lowen was an unabashed advocate of orgasmic pleasure, he also recognized that, for most of us, pleasure is a smorgasbord of small, diverse rewards that keep topping up our tank with new energy. He argued that we don't need unlimited pleasure, but we do need enough pleasure in our lives if we want to live robustly well.

The reason Lowen's ideas are with me today is that a lot of people around me are reporting one or other level of anhedonia - though they probably wouldn't think to call it that.

I can feel it in myself too. The pandemic - or I suppose more accurately, our governments' panicked uber-reaction to the pandemic - got in the way of my ability to enjoy life for a very long time.

The lockdowns, shutdowns, social distancing, and vaccine passports definitely interrupted the normal pathways to pleasure in my life. I couldn't see many of the people I normally would have seen. I couldn't do most of the fun things I normally do. All of the regularly-scheduled fun activities of my life were cancelled. There was precious little opportunity to make new friends, or find new pleasures.

And when those in charge shut the YMCA, that's when I started having paranoid fantasies that the BC Ministry of Health was bound and determined to destroy my physical and mental health.

I feel fortunate that I was married with children when the lockdowns occurred. The four of us went for hikes almost every day. We found a lot of new places to explore, and we chatted as we walked. That, at least, softened the prison of the lockdowns. For a single person living alone, I suspect the lockdowns must have felt a little bit like being in solitary confinement, ZOOM notwithstanding.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that some residual damage remains. Though it feels like my life is much less distorted now that the world has returned (more or less) to normal, I still don't see as many people as I did before the pandemic, and I still spend less time out and about than I did before.

I suspect that I'm like many people in that, in normal times, pleasure finds its way into my life largely in accidental, almost haphazard ways. I find myself enjoying a new person on the edges of my world, and gradually we become friends. I see an advert or press release for some new group or activity and I think that would be fun to try. Though I'm a big fan of 'To Do' lists, it's not as though my 'To Do' lists would ever have a section named: "New Pleasures."

There's a phrase that sometimes comes up when you use self-regulating software: 'Operator Input is Required.' The software is able to cope automatically in most situations, but when conditions shift outside its normal parameters, it needs some outside direction and control to get back on track. I've coming to believe that maybe I need to put some conscious effort into recovering fully from the lockdown damage: Operator Input is Required.

I would have liked to consult Alexander Lowen for input on this posting, but he's been dead for over a decade. Fortunately, I was enough of a fan of Lowen back in the day that I am still able to access my internal Dr. Lowen. Not as good as the real thing, I'm sure, but it's the best I can do.

Here's what my internalized Dr. Alexander Lowen said when I had a therapy session with him today. I can only hope you'll find it as helpful as I did:

Dr. Lowen: I understand that between climate change, the spectre of World War 3, and imminent global economic meltdown, you sometimes find it difficult to get up in the morning.

Me: Yes.

Dr Lowen: And, yes, getting old sucks. Trust me, I understand that one. At our next session, we can scream and pound the walls with rubber bats to get out our anger at that great unfairness.

Me: Yes!

Dr Lowen: And I agree that you have a number of child traumas we should probably talk about, particularly with your mother.

Me: You understand!

Dr. Lowen: All that being said, I would appreciate it if you could humour me on something. I'd like to give you a number of homework tasks around pleasure. I'd like you to do one of these tasks each week for the next several weeks. Would you be willing to do that?

Me: I guess so...

Dr. Lowen: Are you ready to begin?

Me: I guess so...

Dr. Lowen: Are there people you lost touch with during the pandemic that you still miss?

Me: Hmm. Yes, there are.

Dr. Lowen: I'd like you to call one of those people during the next month. Another thing - if there's someone you became estranged from during the pandemic because of ideological differences, I would ask you to look inside yourself to see if you are now willing to let bygones be bygones, and re-initiate contact.

Me: That would be hard!

Dr. Lowen: Yes, it would. Do it anyways. Next, are there activities that you stopped doing during the pandemic, and are they activities you might still enjoy?

Me: Yes, and yes.

Dr. Lowen: I'd like you to resume one of those activities sometime in the next month. (He hands me a pen and paper.) You should probably write down the things you've agreed to do.

Me: I will.

Dr. Lowen: Next, was there some new activity you were planning to start before the pandemic?

Me: Yes, I was planning to sing in a barbershop quartet - then everything shut down.

Dr. Lowen: Does that still interest you?

Me: Yes, it does.

Dr Lowen: Then, sometime in the next month I'd like you to join a barbershop quartet.

Me: Okay, I will.

Dr Lowen: What activities give you sensual pleasure?

Me: Hot baths, lying in the hammock in the sun, listening to music, doing stretches first thing in the morning.

Dr. Lowen: That's a start. Think of some more. Don't be afraid to spend a little money. I want you to do at least one activity a day that gives you sensual pleasure. Does your family eat together?

Me: Yes, we eat dinner together.

Dr. Lowen: Excellent!

Me: I'm often the only one home at lunch-time. Often I eat my lunch in front of the computer.

Dr. Lowen: In front of the computer! You'll never enjoy your food that way. Promise me you'll eat at the table and pay attention to your food.

Me: I promise.

Dr. Lowen: When was the last time you and your wife went out on a hot date?

Me: (proudly) Just last week.

Dr. Lowen: Excellent.

At this point in our session, my inner Dr. Lowen started asking me some very probing questions about my sex life. And suggesting some very intimate exercises. Quite helpful, but not something I want to share. Sorry.

Me: With all the problems in the world, it seems frivolous to be thinking about pleasure.

Dr. Lowen: Frivolous? If you're life is deficient in pleasure, you'll find yourself stuck in neutral, going nowhere. And pleasure isn't just important for your mental health. Your body likes pleasure every bit as much as your brain does. When your body feels pleasure regularly, it wants to stay alive. It amps up your immune system to fight off disease. It works hard to root out cancer cells wherever it can. It does everything it can to maintain and renew your body and keep you young. Pleasure is every bit as important to your physical wellbeing as exercise, or a healthy diet.

Me: Thanks, Doc. I'm feeling better all ready.